Friends. Friends are good. No. Friends are GREAT. Even the bad friends are great. They allow for us to truly appreciate the good friends. I saw a good friend this week, and although it had been 4-5 years since I've seen her, our friendship never skipped a beat. We ate, and drank, and talked, and laughed. And best of all, we remembered. We remembered all of the things that made us friends and celebrated them as best we could. I found myself feeling sad that our lives have taken us to opposite ends of the country, but so incredibly happy to see how far she's come. She tells me I have a good heart, and I secretly hope she's right. I missed her before I even dropped her off.
I think one of the scariest things imaginable is the thought that we only have the ability to make something of ourselves. I have no idea how to.....do anything. No, that's not it. Not what I meant. What I mean to say is, my dreams follow a specific path, but there's no direct way to get onto that path. Everyone seems to have their ideas for what I should do, but none of it has seemed right. None of it has felt right. I think maybe I need to give up on my current dreams. Or alter them. Though altering them is pretty much giving up on them. I just don't know what to do. What I should do. Where do I go from here? What happens next?
Been thinking. About a lot. Things like life, and love, and moving to Chicago. Loneliness gives one lots of time to think. Too much time. All I ever seem to think is about how I need to do better. Write more. Be skinnier. Make more money. My mind is cruel, and I wish I knew how to fix it. I guess that's just one more way I need to be better.
No comments:
Post a Comment