I ordered this food at 6:30 and scheduled the pick up for 8, so why is it 8:32 and I'm still standing at this fucking counter? What's the point of ordering it an hour and a half early if it's still going to take me 30 minutes at the restaurant? Why am I paying for this food? It's not special. It's not unique. I can buy this in any city in America. So why put up with this? Why pay the inflated price for this? Why pay the inflated price of anything here? Why am I paying an arm and a leg for a little pink room in the valley? Why am I paying 9% sales tax on all my groceries and essentials? Why do I sit in hours of traffic everyday? Why am I even trying with these girls? Why am I still working as a freelancer? Why do I feel that being drunk, alone in my apartment is better than being sober, alone in my apartment? Why am I living here?
Leave it to our generation to create a way to streamline the shallow judgement of our peers. I hate Tinder. By downloading this app we're giving permission to any stranger with access to WiFi to pass judgment on our humanity on the basis of a profile picture. So why do we do it? Because we all want to be loved. We all want to believe that we'll be that one that someone will see and want desperately to sleep with us. This isn't really any different from our regular day to day, now there's just a specific arena for it. I still have the app. I don't know why. Well, yes I do. But I'm not happy about it.
The worst part about trying to go on a diet? The cravings. The random desires for things that you're not allowed to have. It sucks. Right now it's wine and chocolate. Usually it's love and stability. And on the occasion it's happiness and fulfillment. I think I've mostly given up on most of these things. Now if I can just get the food under control. Probably not, but who knows.
"Black people have no business being black and expecting anything other than persecution and harassment from citizens and police alike." - America
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