I'm not a writer. I'm a blogger; a watcher; a listener; an eater; a drinker; a thinker, and a dreamer......
I had a dream once that we were together. Or I should say, in the dream, we got together. There was this big moment where I pulled you aside from everyone and you smiled, and I smiled and, without saying a single word, we both nodded feverishly and then embraced. We laid on our stomachs on a nearby couch laughed giddily. There was this satisfying feeling that rushed over me, as if to say "FINALLY!" And then I woke up.
I remembered that we weren't together. That we have never kissed. That we really had never been that close. You were a crush once upon a time. One shared by most of the guys we worked with. A simple fantasy of a simple boy. So why now? Why this night? Who's to say? It was just a dream.
I had a dream that I missed the wedding. There I was, back home, and I had to find a way to tell you I wouldn't be able to come to the wedding. I ran into your fiance first, and he was angry. Really angry. I was actually afraid as I watched him walk over and tell you. I ran from the house. That's all I can remember.
The fear of missing the wedding still plagues me. I hope I'll make it home. I hope I'll be there to see you walk down the aisle. I hope I'll be able to say it was just a dream.
I was happy. Happy to wake up in the morning. Happy to drive to work and be in a room full of creative individuals all working towards a goal. I was a writer. I had a house, somewhere in America. And you were there. We loved each other. We loved the world. Everything was right, and I hated to close my eyes at night, because it meant I had to spend a few hours away from it all. I've never woken up.
This isn't a vision that played in my head while my eyes were closed. This is something I see everyday. Something that drives me to keep going. To keep waking up. To keep going to work. I know what it is, and I know what it sounds like. But we all have one. And who's to say it's just a dream?
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