No clickbait this time. If you clicked this link you should already know what you're in for so let's get into it.
Long-time readers will remember that my family and I recently relocated to Los Angeles in the blink of an eye back in July. We did this for many reasons, one of which was that I would no longer have to spend long periods on the road away from my family in pursuit of the all-mighty dollar. So naturally it would come to pass that one of the best job offers I've had in a while (one that came as a direct result of being physically back in L.A.) would require me to spend the better part of 2 months on the road between January and February (during which I will turn 35, and Eliana will turn 2. Yay for missed birthdays!). So of course now I'm forced to ask myself which road do I take. Do I turn one way, take the job, expand my network, accept the highest rate I've ever been offered, and finally move my career forward after years of stagnation? Or do I turn the other way, stay home with my family, risk alienating potential career allies, and hope the universe rewards me later on down the line? No pressure.
It doesn't help that I'm in more debt than I have ever been in my life with no hope of relief.
It doesn't help that I am in an incredibly negative headspace right now and feel that time away from home is exacerbating it.
It doesn't help that for the last few years I've watched people that started long after me soar past me onto bigger and better things, while I round out my 10th, yes 10th, year as an Associate Producer.
It doesn't help that I'm in consideration for other jobs that have just as much potential to be huge for me as they do being nothing burgers.
It doesn't help that I'm a coward who's afraid of failure and feels more comfortable turning down a job I'm scared I won't do well at instead of taking it and proving to myself that I can, in fact, succeed in new areas.
It doesn't help that I feel like no matter what choice I make I will, in some way, be letting my family down.
I just want to do the right thing at the right time all of the time. Is that so much to ask for, Santa???
No comments:
Post a Comment