A Love Story

Story time...

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away....a bunch of shit happened that has nothing to do with what I'm about to tell you. Starting a story is tough, ok.

This is a story about love. The woman I love is...laying on the other side of the room asking me questions even though she watched me put on a giant pair of headphones when I sat down at the keyboard. Eh, she'll figure it out eventually.

What a perfect snapshot of our relationship. Me, the tortured wannabe writer, sitting at the computer full of whiskey and self-importance. My love, fiddling with some piece of tech I gave her that she never really took the time to figure out how to use. I'm sure she'll soon throw a pillow at me to get my attention, I'll act annoyed and then do whatever is she asks. Love.

This has been our story for over 4 years now. How did it all begin you ask? Well even if you didn't I'm going to tell you because this is my blogpost and I can do what I want. Anyway, what was I saying? oh yes that's right. In the beginning, the Big Bang created the universe as we know. There were explosions, collisions, giant reptiles, a few bad winters, the Beatles, and eventually, Sean Rad and a few others created the location based dating app known as Tinder. And in 2015, after moving to a brand new city he had never been in and lacking the necessary social skills to properly make friends, a 26-year-old boy downloaded the app to his phone. Ya know, to look for friends.

Well it just so happened that a girl from Dallas Texas just so happened to also be using the app that's infamous for bringing people together to touch butts and such. As fate would have it, she would swipe right on the young fella, as he did her, at which point he took her breath away by crafting the perfectly poetic greeting message; Hey. Yup, it was all over for her from there.

Well maybe not from right there, but she thought he was cute, or at least cute enough (I take what I can get) and decided to test his cultural aptitude by inviting him out to see an apparently famous fall symphony. He agreed, while simultaneously trying to figure out ways to stay awake during the performance, at which point she revealed that what she actually wanted to do was go get burgers, beer, and watch football. He couldn't get out the door fast enough.

Fast forward 2 years, and holy shit neither of them can believe it's been 2 years.  The boy is packing up his beloved apartment and hauling everything over the 1.8 miles to the girls house where they now both will be residing. Now it was serious. I mean it had already been pretty serious, but now it was really really serious. For realsky.

The first year was good. The boy was still working in television, and thus, not contributing to society in any meaningful way. The girl had recently transitioned into teaching, which was great because that meant there would always be alcohol in the house. And it was at some times around here that the boy got the bright idea to ask the girl to marry him.

Now neither he nor I can remember the first time he/I got this idea but he/I knew it was exactly what he/I/we wanted more than anything in the world. So now all he/we/me had to do was find a ring. Sounds like a plan.

(Record scratch)

Let me tell you something about plans. If you ever want to hear the universe laugh, you should tell them to her. The bitch will be hunched over and out of breath by the time you finish talking. Seriously, she's rude like that. But, I believe that everything happens exactly how it's supposed to happen, even if it's annoying some of the time (read: all of the time). And not long after their 3rd year of being together, the boy got a ring that was made just for the girl. Now he just had to figure out how to give it to her.

Now this brings me to our main point. The reason I've gathered you all here today. But before I go any further I just want to say to each and every one of you to gather up your hopes and dreams and ambitions, wrap them in bubblewrap, slap a tracking number on them and send them out into the universe. Seriously, because you never really know when She might be listening.

Now I'm not sure how much you all know about Mardi Gras parades, but here's the TL;DR for those you unfamiliar. In the weeks leading up to Mardi Gras, New Orleans is host to a plethora of parades put on by the handful of Mardi Gras Krewes. Now everyone knows that people on the floats through out beads as they roll by, but what you may not know is that the bigger Krewes have signature throws. For instance, the Krewe of Nyx throws out hand decorated purses, Zulu throws out painted coconuts, and Tux throws out plungers...for some reason. But the most coveted throw is a hand decorated high-heel shoe through out by the very elite and exclusive Krewe of Muses. Getting your hands on one of those ever elusive throws was a sure way to note that your Mardi Gras season had been a successful one. Through some sort of black magic that I didn't even know I was capable of, I managed to snag a shoe during my very first Mardi Gras. Once it dropped into my hands, I ran as fast as I could back to my then girlfriend of only 3 months and presented it to her. Throughout the entire season the girl had been telling the boy all about how much she's always wanted a Muses shoe. At that moment, while handing his newly acquired shoe to his girlfriend perched at the top of her ladder, he knew this would be the perfect proposal. But that would've been crazy back then. Now however...

But how would he accomplish this? How COULD he accomplish this? He didn't know anyone in Muses. He had no friends in high places that he could call upon to help in this situation. What could he do? He expressed these questions aloud to friend while standing on a television set in the middle of nowhere Louisiana. This friend, being the only person he had spoken to about this so far, knew immediately what to do. This friend led him to a friend, who then led him to another friend that led him to another friend. By the end of the week, the boy had a couple of friends in Muses and plan that was underway. The boy would gather all of the girls friends, get her out to the parade, and when moment came, present her with her very shoe, accompanied with her very own ring.

Which brings us to now. I sit here, typing this story, my soon to be wife sitting across the room watching the news, and a box of wedding invitations sitting next to my desk. It's crazy to think that the story you've just read and the moment you just witnessed above are just the beginning of a long road of life and love. And we'll pave it just the way we have for the past 4 and a half years...

Together 💕