I'm actually quite surprised that I haven't touched on this topic before, me having so much experience with it. Or maybe I have and I just can't remember? Doesn't matter. I'm still going to talk about it now.
First off, we need to define which friendzone I'm talking about, because there are (at least) 2. There's the one that supposed "nice guys" love to bitch about. That's the one where if a girl doesn't fuck a guy after he does something like buy her a drink, or like one of her Instagram selfies, she's a huge bitch who treats "nice guys" like shit. That IS NOT the one that I'm referring to.
The one that I am speaking of is the real one. The one where person A likes person B. Person B also likes person A, but not in the same way that person A likes them. Person B then goes onto pretend that person B's feelings don't really exist, leaving person A to admire from afar and hope that one day their friendship will transform into something more. Did I explain that correctly? I think I did because I threw up in my mouth a little bit while writing it.
What should come as a surprise to NO ONE, I have spent ample time in the friendzone over the years. It always starts the same: I meet a girl. I get to know girl. I tell myself to not, under any circumstances, develop a crush on her. I don't listen to myself. I crush so hard that it becomes obvious. After about 72 years I gather up the courage to say something. I'm rejected, usually with some bullshit line like "you wouldn't want to date me anyway." She then goes on to express how she really needs us to be friends, but will understand if I decide that I can't do that (effectively laying the burden of guilt on me if I choose to end the friendship). I stay friends (naturally) and admire from afar until some magical day comes along and lifts the spell. It's an exhausting process that many follow through like fucking clockwork. I'm tired and frustrated just thinking about it.
Now I know what you're going to say, "Greg, if you didn't want to be in the friendzone, why did you choose to keep being her friend?" Two reasons: 1. Shut up! 2. I, like many others, am simply not wired that way. Anytime we are given the opportunity to stay close with the person we have feelings for, even if only as a friend, we will take it, because in our confused and pathetic minds, there's still hope. As stupid as it sounds, we will cling to the hope that someday our friendship will transform into something more once that person sees how great we are. We think like this every single time, even though this scenario only ever works out in romantic comedies. That crush is like an addiction, and it's damn near impossible to quit on our own. Which is why I believe it is the responsibility of the crushee to eradicate the friendzone. NOTE: I am NOT saying that anyone owes anyone sex, or a relationship based off of your dynamic as friends. But if your "friend" is crazy about you, and you just don't feel the same way, do the humane thing and end the friendship. Don't tell them you just want to stay friends, and definitely don't leave the choice in their hands. Do the right thing and set them free. Sure it may be hard on both of you at first, but I guarantee that both of you will be much happier for it in the long run. You won't be burdened with the guilt of knowing that your friend is constantly wanting more from you, and your friend will be free to get you out of their system and move on to find someone that can love and appreciate them in the way that they deserve. Boom, happy endings for all.
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