Week 11

This was originally going to be a poem, but then I realized that I actually don't have a desire to completely embarrass myself today, so here ya go.

   

 Other than working to the point of complete exhaustion, not very much happened this week. That is, except for Sunday. Sunday, everything happened.

I had never swam in the ocean before. The saltiness was almost too much to handle. But as time went by, and I got better and better at fighting the waves, I was overcome with the most unexpected feeling of complete and utter freedom. And not just freedom, but a sense of perfect balance and wholeness. As the waves toss me back and forth and the ground sinks further and further beneath my feet, I realized that this was the best I had felt in quite some time.

I never wanted to return to shore.

   

     Back on the shore were people. People who would look at me out the corner of their eye, or keep watch on me as I went about my business. People who either chose to, or were raised to believe that the color of my skin means trouble. But out there in the water, people didn't exists. There was no racism or prejudice amongst the waves.

     Back on the shore was money. Money seemingly everywhere except in my pocket. But that doesn't seem to keep anyone from asking for it. Doesn't keep anyone from demanding it each month. But out here green paper is useless and metal coins just sink.

     And back on shore I have a phone. And because I have a phone I'm able to receive messages from other people. Just last night I received a message about an earthquake in San Francisco. I had missed it by a day. And then more messages from friends who had had a few to drink.  And then this morning I received a message that he was brain dead.

 

Life is funny. Though we like to pretend, none of us have any idea how to handle it. We know even less about how to handle death. How much emotion should I show? How should I talk to his family? Should I cry? What if I can't? All of these questions await me back on shore. Is it really a wonder why I never want to come back in?